


History But I Ruin It Forever For You

by StalinDidNothingWrong



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, History - Fandom, World War 2 - Fandom, ww2 - Fandom
Genre: Alternate History, Communism, Fascism, Historical Hetalia, It'S jOkE, Jews - Freeform, Kulaks, M/M, Nazism, Parody, World War II, pleasemikeyforthelove Of God We Are All Worried
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-01-26 21:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12566248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StalinDidNothingWrong/pseuds/StalinDidNothingWrong
Summary: I genuinely hope that I get shot in the head 12 times then get whats left of it curb stomped but also I am a genius and you all should fear me





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oliver the faglord that hates me also Rosie please read it](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Oliver+the+faglord+that+hates+me+also+Rosie+please+read+it).



> You know I had to gulag em

"Oof." rang out across the landscapes, over and over again. It was driving Stalin insane. Who is dying, even ? He doesn't know and doesn't care! He just wants to sleep! This had gone on for quite some time now, at least a month. "Oof." It couldn't be the soldiers, because they hadn't gone oof during the first years of the war. Who was it, then? "Oof." He eventually decided to get up and investigate, since he couldn't sleep anyways. Why was it so difficult to exist. "Hey Ivan, we are going out and investigating." The personification of a country was a big fag, but he could be of use, maybe, possibly? He looked at Stalin, surprised. "Comrade, why are we speaking English all of a sudden?! What has happened!?" The EVIL BLOODTHIRSTY DICTATOR THAT KILLED TEN BILLION HUNDREDS THOUSANDS GORILLION PEOPLE >:((((((((( merely laughed at him. "Haven't you noticed yet? We are in a fanfic, and the main audience is gonna be speaking english. Expect to only be able to say bullshit like "da" and "kolkolkol" from now on." Russia looked visibly hurt by this. He had gone through these terrible character writings so many times already, would he have to go through it again? Perhaps suicide was a valid option. Well, enough of that, he had to go along with the main plot now. The two men went out into the night landscape, the cold winds blowing around them. Winter had recently come. Not like in Game Of Thrones, where there are zombies and stuff like that, and winter takes six seasons to actually come, but a Russian winter. Well, at least it had stopped the troops from Nazi Germany. They had been dangerously close to Moscow just a few weeks ago. Thinking about it, Hitler really was a fucking dumbass. Things had gone so well, but now he decided to invade Russia with winter approaching? While also fighting on the West Front? So much for the "one front war" he had been preaching about. Oof. 

Eventually they reached Poland. (They teleported fuck off I don't feel like writing a good explanation) "Auschwitz? What a weird name. Nonetheless, this is where the oofs are coming from." Ivan noted. Stalin had already started to put everything together. This was definitely Hitler's work. As they ventured in (the guards suddenly died or something) they saw Hitler, executing jews. With every gas chamber visit, there were around 50 oofs. He seemed to be in a good mood, so Stalin decided to go up and talk to him. "Henlo stimki, can you stop killing jews in the middle of the night? A comrade is trying to sleep here, you know." Adolf snapped out of his jew-destroying trance, and finally noticed the visitors. "Ah, mein freunden! Heil lol." When Stalin and Russia just looked at him in Uncomfy™ he continued with "Just kidding! I am the Führer after all, hahahaha! Please laugh, i'm so lonely and I am going to cut meinself." He pulled up the sleeve on his right arm and pulled out a razor, shaped like a swastika. "Woah, woah, woah! Calm down there for a second! We just want to talk!" Stalin yelled, although he was slightly annoyed by the other dictator. "S-so you care about me, right? Wait, more important matters! Why is Stalin standing in front of me!?" Wow, this guy was an absolute idiot. "I already told you, we want you to stop killing these jews. I can't sleep because of the oof sound they make." Stalin exclaimed. This request seemed to horrify Hitler, as he froze in the middle of putting the razor away. "You cannot possibly request that, Stalin! That's just unfair!" "Well, so was you invading after we made a NON AGGRESSION PACT, just saying." This offended Adolf, as he pulled up his sleeve to cut himself again. "Hey, stop that weak shit already! Just, just don't kill the jews during the night, fair enough?" Stalin sighed, exhausted from the lack of sleep and Hitler's increasing edge. Those kawaii eyes glimmered with held back tears, but he nodded. "Fine, as long as you guys don't tell anyone about this!" Russia and Stalin nodded, and went back again, finally able to sleep again. Little did they know, that Hitler had some other plans.


	2. Yall know what tf going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hitler is amgery about not making the jews go oof anymore :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May God quiver in fear at the very mention of my name, for I am of an autistic power he cannot comprehend.

"IT IS NICHT FAIR!!" Hitler sobbed. Günsche wondered if deserting was an option at this point. Probably so, since the Führer had seemingly gone insane. All he ever talked about these days was Stalin and not being able to oof off the jews. "T IST EIN ARTFORM!! CAN'T HE NICHT VERSTEHEN?!" "Mein Führer, please settle down a bit. You have a meeting with Mussolini in half an hour." Günsche informed. It seemingly calmed him down a bit. Hitler and Mussolini had been getting along rather well recently. Hopefully a visit from the Italian friend would help him forget about his utter defeat at Auschwitz. Hitler sighed, exhausted from all the anger he had. "I guess I should act more like the Führer and less like a toddler. It just irritates me so! No jew killing at night? Who does he think he is!?" Suddenly, a man came into the room (it's ya boi, uh skinny benis). "Ah, Ludwig, glad to see you back again. Günsche, you're dismissed until I have another fit about this." 

Germany was the ideal aryan, so it was no wonder he was the manifestation of the country. (In this fic Germany won't be a pussy and sob about zhe jews dying all the time, that shit is boring my guys.) Ludwig had been on a mission with the Gestapo to look after undercover spies from the enemy side. As it was, he had actually found one suspicious figure. About a week ago some guy had suddenly started showing up, only saying stuff like "heil hitler amiright bois haha" and "wow I sure am German and very Aryan today!". The problem wasn't really his terrible German and being a tryhard faggot, he only spoke in American English if he got the chance. And he was Alfred which you could quite clearly see, if you took the DIY Hitler mustache off his face. "Haha what is totally up, mein Führer!!" he yelled out behind Ludwig. He felt quite proud of his disguise and was still insisting on wearing the mustasche, which seemed to confuse Hitler quite a lot. "I see the americans never fail to disappoint." He spoke out in English to America, catching his attention. "Why did they send you, America? Everybody knows who you are." It took him a second to reply, since he had started to adjust his mustasche and comparing it to Hitler's. "I MEAN WHY WOULDN'T THEY CHOOSE THE HERO!? I AM TOTALLY THE COOLEST RADDEST SPY!!!" Hitler just left the room and cried.

As they exited the room Germany realized that he hadn't been given an order. What was he gonna do with this jew? Alfred was surely going to become a problem for him, as if Italy wasn't enough. He sighed like he was hundreds of years old (haha get it because he is a country) and turned to face the Evil™. "Okay, you can get to choose since we used to be friends. Gulag camp or extermination camp? I am not gonna babysit you, like for real dude." America considered his options in silence (for once), and as he looked up again, Ludwig realized to his horror that there had been a loophole in what he said somehow. "Oh, i'll go to your concentration camp? I think you forgot that this fic has the gerame tag, sweaty :). Sheiße. That was the thing he had figured out!? "It didn't exclude a sad ending, you absolute faglord. You can still die and all that." Haha, checkmate! Alfred looked surprised by this, hadn't he ever read a fanfic before? But, what now!? He seemed to gather up a response! This time, when he looked up, he had the expression of pure victory and sadism on his face. "No u." 

The words haunted Germany through the entire day. No u. There was nothing you could say back to "no u". He had lost in all ways possible. He was so distraught that he forgot that Alfred was still following him around. Until he started talking again, that is. "You know you could just say it back, right? It's PEMDAS, it cancels that shit out, you get me?" "I'm just gonna pretend that I didn't hear you actually say that seriously." he replied, deathwish clearly visible in his eyes. "Hey! I was being serious you stimky nazi! Go lose another world war, ugli. That was a curse, you are now cursed." Ludwig sighed, and stopped to straighten out his (gayness) uniform. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just shut up. I have a lot of jews to kill today, you know?" Alfred actually grew silent by his words, and finally removed the mustasche. "God, can't you germans kill some actual villains, like commies? Except Russia, my guy is a great commie, and I need to have a dick comparison war with him in the form of nukes after this war." "Ok faggot, I guess we are delivering you to Stalin so he can put you in gulag. Wait no, that implies rusame, it's not supposed to happen yet." He turned to face his prisoner. "What do you americans eat? It's almost lunch time, and I guess you have to tag along." "Oh idk wurst lol ;;;))))" he replied. How did he say that out loud? WHY did he say that out loud? "Haha funny, do u wanna go? I bet u couldnt even >:((((" "Oh I will get that dicc bc ur a faggot for me lol" the demon replied. By now some SS officers who understood English had given them some disgusted glances, so Ludwig quickly changed subject. "Nice Gay we are having I mean weather haha, alles gut keine problem haha ok let's go now." And so the obviously very Heterosexual Straight Bros left the scene.


	3. Filler Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OwO Some RusAme and Stitler kinda happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry God but I do not fear you

At last! Hitler now had the perfect plan to get his revenge! He had planned and pondered for days, thinking of ways to get back at Stalin for the Auschwitz visit. He started to give out the orders, spread the word, all that one person could do. And so it began. "Holodomor genocide" read the newspapers. "The evil communist dictator had so mercilessly let the Ukrainian farmers starve to death! Nobody could question the words of the Führer, so it had to be true, right? Especially if the Americans used it as Cold War propaganda later on! He chuckled to himself. If he was going down as a jew killing stimky, at least he could drag Stalin down with him.

"BLYAT! WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?" Stalin yelled. He had never seen such blatant lies before! It had actually been those kulaks, not him! They had burned the harvests as a protest against communism, and now HE was being blamed!? "I cannot possibly tolerate these fake news!" he muttered. "Russia, get your coat. We are going to pay Hitler a visit, before they start saying that I also ordered the clouds to stop raining." 

As they neared the Berlin headquarters, they bumped into two men. Stalin recognized the taller one as Germany, and the obnoxious figure beside him as most likely America. "OH FUCK IT'S STALIN I MEAN HAHAHA COMMUNISM AMIRIGHT??? HAHAHA." he yelled out, making people stop and stare at them. "Mein fucking gott Amerika why do you always do this." "THIS IS A FANFIC I HAVE TO YELL WHENEVER I SAY SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?" the german turned towards Stalin and Russia once again, looking rather suicidal. "Es tut mir leid, that you had to meet America in this specific fanfic. So, what brings you two to Berlin? We are at war, aren't we?" Before Stalin had the chance to explain, however, Russia had stepped up towards America. Both of them were staring eachother down in a gay threatening silence. "This is gay I am leaving." he finally said, continuing to walk towards Hitler's headquarters. This left Germany, America and Russia in the uncomfortable gay silence. "Comrade, it has been a long time." Russia said. America didn't respond, but instead he slowly backed towards Germany. "AHAHAHA INDEED germany fucking help man, he's gonna kill me!" Ludwig wished for death once again, but unfortunately the gods didn't strike him down where he stood. "Russia and America, if you could please calm your shit." he said. "This isn't the Cold War just yet." Ivan huffed in pure Communist Irritation™. "This isn't over yet, nazi scum." "Ok, listen here you stimky commie-" This time America finally stepped in. "Guys, guys! Calm down. You are both equally hot I mean terrible, ahahahaha. Let's talk about this later. Ludwig and I are going to Auschwitz." This surprised the Russian quite a bit. They hadn't even reached the GerAme bits yet! Unless it was gonna be necrophilia, but this author had SOME limits, right? Right???? "A-are you sure comrades? I believe there are better ways to settle stuff!" The two men didn't agree with him, it seemed. "Mein apologies, but Alfred is a stimky Jew, and must be eradicated at once. In a no homo way, of course. Now, if you excuse us, we must get there before nighttime falls." As he said the last sentence, his tone changed to a very judging one. "Fine." Ivan sighed. "I'll be on my way, then. Watch out for commie spies." With that, he started to walk again, trying to find Stalin. "Commie spies?" America asked, to nobody in particular.

Stalin had finally reached the office where Hitler was. He didn't bother knocking, since he wanted to be petty and rudely interrupt. "Henlo, you stimky nazi." he said, as he entered the office room. To his surprise, nobody was there? Huh. He decided to snoop around a bit, might as well find some war secrets. As he looked through some documents, he noticed something on the desk. It appeared to be some type of poetry? "Haha, gay." he said and started to read. 

Jews are evil, jews are bad

Those damn jews, they make me so mad! 

I hope all jews die, in a hole somewhere

There would be no guilt for me to bear

As expected of Adolf Hitler. You would be surprised if there wasn't anything like this on his desk. There was also a letter from Mussolini in there, reading as following: 

Mama mia Italy invada da Greece.

After this letter it seemed like a second one had arrived, just five minutes after the first one according to the time stamp: 

Oh no Germany helpa Italia!

No wonder the Axis Powers were losing this war. This was useful information for Stalin, however. As he now knew that Hitler had to send troops down to Greece to help his ally, he could press on more with the Red Army! That was when Hitler and Mussolini entered the room. "What are YOU doing here!?" Hitler said.

To be continued...


	4. Did Nazi That Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cant write anything smut im sorry ye perverts uwu

Stalin had found himself in quite a peculiar situation. Now he wasn't just facing off with Hitler, but Mussolini as well. "Isn't it obvious? Don't you think i'd find the source for these lies?" he said, now angry again. Hitler merely sneered at him. "Do you think i'd let you just go and decide what I do with mein Jews?! You aren't above the Führer!" "Sí, Adolf is-a right!" Benito said. "What gives-a you the right to genocide-a but not my ally?" He seemed to take this very personally, Joseph noted. He wondered why the fascist dictator would be upset over this more than Hitler. "I didn't say that he couldn't oof the jews, just not during nighttime! Geez, can't people even sleep these days?" This time it was Hitler's turn to be annoyed. "And what gives you zhe reich to interrupt mein artwork!? I was actually happy with what I had created!" he huffed. "Well, you could at least be respectful towards other people, we aren't barbarians after all." Hitler opened his mouth to say something, but seemed taken aback. Finally he sighed in defeat. "Reich, I guess you have a point. Mussolini, could you wait outside please? We can continue talking later." 

As the two were left on their own, the tension increased. They were at war, after all. Yin and Yang, good and evil, black and white. They were each other's opposites, the only thing they really had in common was the color red. (Don't go comment about how evil Stalin he is because you are wrong and a kulak just a heads up.) "So...Ich guess I am sorry for the whole Holodomor thing? It is a bit too late to change that, though. A Führer can't go back on his own words." He seemed to be geniunely sorry, Stalin realized. What an odd man, he went from upset to apologetic in just a few seconds. It was captivating, in a way. He wondered what was going on in his head right now. Was he studying Stalin like he was studying him? "Apology accepted? I guess you have right in a way too, I shouldn't stop you from killing jews if it is that important to you, so, sorry about that." Hitler shone up like a star. "R-really!? I can kill zhe jews whenever I want, even though we are at war!?" He threw himself on Stalin, hugging him tightly. "Woah, woah! Calm down!" Stalin yelled in surprise and embarrasment. "And nyet, not at night. I need sleep, and you probably do as well." he sternly lectured him. Mussolini and Russia watched the event unfold from a gap in the doorway. "That's-a gay!" Mussolini whispered.

Meanwhile, at the weeb headquarters...

America and Germany had almost reached Auschwitz now, but there was a problem. Ludwig had been doubting himself for the entire journey. "ARE WE THERE YET!?" Alfred yelled, not for the first time. "I told you alredy, we are ALMOST there! Stop whining!" Ludwig was growing rather annoyed at this point. How could someone be this loud? He spent a lot of time with Italy, and these two were basically the same person, but with different accents. A twinge of guilt suddenly struck him. He was taking Alfred away to be killed, it was way over the top, really. Did he deserve death just for being a loud jew? He stopped, surprising the American. "Hey! What's the problem? You said that we were almost there, let's goooooo!!!" Germany turned around, feeling ashamed of himself. "Why do you even want to go there? You do know what Auschwitz is, right?" "Yes! I am suicidal, goddamnit!" He sighed. "We aren't going there. I have changed my mind." Surprisingly, America shut up. He stared at him, those blue aryan eyes glimmering with confusion and, something else? "Why not? You hate me, right? What made you change your mind all of a sudden?" When Ludwig couldn't really give a good response, he grunted in frustration. "Are you always this robotic or what? Um hello, reasons and emotions? Are you in there??" "I couldn't kill someone I know just because they are annoying as all hell, right? I mean, my closest ally is Italy, and you two are similar, in that way. I...I don't really know. I'm starting to doubt this is what I want to do." He felt like had the weight of the entire world on his shoulders in that moment. Or, a part of it at least, since America had climbed up on his back. "Well, then! Where are we going? Giddy up!" He laughed at the German's confused expression. "You really are weird." "No u, zhe fuck." Ludwig replied. "You are the one currently sitting on my back!" "I'm tireeeeedd, please? For me?" America started whining, so he relented. "Alright you parasite, let's go then." He felt weirdly content around Alfred, so much that he didn't really mind them being silly like this. And so they started to make their way to somewhere I don't fucking know yet man let me decide where you will find out in the next chapter pinky promise ok good


	5. The Bois Do Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I write a chapter title and then change it to fit the actual chapter once i'm done writing because I aint about that planning life

Wow, this was akward. Stalin had now become "friends" with Hitler? And now he was following him and Mussolini around while he discussed his passion for arts and killing jews. He seemed to really care about this. He watched the German dictator as he excitedly talked on. Joseph hadn't noticed until now, or he hadn't admitted it to himself, but he had come to like Adolf in quite a short amount of time. He was a very interesting person, quite moody but not in a bad way, really. "-So what do you think, Joe?" He was suddenly taken back to reality by Adolf turning around and asking him something. "W-what? Sorry, I was thinking and didn't really pay attention..." Stalin apologized, blushing in embarrassment. Mussolini gave him a mean glare. "What could-a possibly be so important-a when the Führer is talking?" His tone wasn't exactly friendly, and for a moment the two of them stared eachother down. Hitler decided to step in to avoid any further trouble. "Come on now, Benito! I'm sure our dear friend here didn't mean any disrespect. I don't feel offended, so by all means try not to take it seriously. Anyway, I was thinking of an alliance between our countries, to help eachother out. What do you think?" His eyes shimmered with delight. Stalin felt a twinge of guilt. "It's not that I wouldn't want an alliance, but with the current situation, well... my comrades would not agree at all. My apologies." Mussolini invited himself to the conversation. "I agree with that, an alliance would be a terrible idea! Anyhow, we have things to discuss about Greece and Africa, right?" Hitler was visibly upset about Stalin rejecting his offer, and he hoped that Mussolini's matters would distract him, but to the Russian's surprise the Führer reacted in a bad way. "I told you already, we can talk about those things later. Do not interrupt, geez." The rest of the day was spent in a bitter silence between Hitler and his ally.

"They've been gone for quite some time now." Russia quietly said to himself. He had surprisingly started to worry about Ludwig and Alfred. Since he had read the previous chapter, he knew that they weren't going to Auschwitz. However, they were still out in an on and off warzone. America tended to draw in trouble wherever he went. He sighed at himself. "He has Germany with him, that comrade is intelligent and practical. It will be fine, i'm sure." Yet, he couldn't quite shake the feeling of unease off himself. Outside, the sun was starting to set.

They had almost reached the border of Poland-Germany when Alfred perked his head up from his near comatose sleep. "Hey, Wurst-Nazi! Did you hear that? There are people up ahead!" He poked Ludwig on the head around 1000 times in two seconds because he requires attention constantly. "I'm listening, i'm listening! Stop doing that!" he said, and kneeled down to let America jump off his back. As expected, he started running ahead, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Hey, slow down a bit!" Germany yelled after him, but to no avail. He sighed, and started to follow the path Alfred had chosen. What was he doing here, again? He felt like this wasn't the best thing to do, considering the currently ongoing war. For all he knew they could be running into Russians. They had been advancing recently, and scouting patrols weren't uncommon. As he neared the source of the noise, he heard his companion arguing with someone. Oh great, he had been captured. "I'M TELLING YOU, WE ARE NOT NAZIS, I'M NOT, AT LEAST! I'M AMERICAN, A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N! I'M FRIENDS WITH RUSSIA!" Ludwig finally got a look at what the situation was. America had 12 rifles pointed towards his head, as he tried to negotiate with the Russian scouting squad. They muttered amongst themselves, most likely not very nice things. He needed to interfere before Alfred made things worse, and got himself killed. Ludwig didn't get the chance to get up and help, however, as he felt a gun being pressed against the back of his head.


	6. Som German??? Angst??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bois get angsty

"Long time no see, Germany." He froze at hearing that familiar voice. "Gil? What are you doing here?" He tried to whisper, but he didn't quite manage, and the scouting squad had clearly heard them. Surprisingly, as soon as they did, Prussia shouted out something in Russian and everyone lowered their weapons. "What's the meaning of this? Why are you here?!" Ludwig hadn't seen his fag brother in 3 years now. Gilbert was a stimky jew, and once Hitler had won the election in 1933 he had grown more and more distant. Eventually, when the war broke out, he had just left. There had been no note, no goodbyes. One morning he was gone and that was all Germany had known up until now. The faglord seemed tense, and avoided eye contact with him. "I know I have stuff to explain, but it's a long story. We need to get your boyfriend in check first of all." "He's not my-" He realized that there was no point in being tsundere uwu since this fic had the gerame tag. He and America were basically destined to be a couple. As they went into the camp, the aforementioned boyfriend came running up. "YO HOLY SHIT MY GUY DID YOU SEE THAT I ALMOST DIED YOOOOOO!?????" he yelled, upset and possibly even scared? Lud just patted him on the head. "Yeah, good job or something. Try not to run off like that." America nodded absentmindedly, clinging onto his uniform. "Ur bro is gay by the way, why didn't he show up earlier to save us? Now I don't look heroic at all!" There was clearly quite a lot to talk about.

Gilbert gathered the three of them inside an empty tent, filled with totally not faggy fanart of himself. How did he print fanart out in the middle of the woods? No human being shall ever know (aka I don't know I need to make him as miserable as possibly because I hate him ). He lit a lantern to make everything a bit spooky. (old things are spooky, especially lanterns, like: thanks! I hate it). "So, i've been following the recent news." he muttered as he fumbled around trying not to light the tent on fire. "You've come pretty far, considering the state our country used to be in." It obviously hurt him to say this, but whatever Prussia's a fag. Germany couldn't quite be silent, he had too many questions to ask. "What about you? One morning you were gone, not a single word in three years. For all I knew you could've been dead. What could possibly be so important that you would go underground like that?" He noticed from the corner of his eye that Alfred was looking at him, concerned about his tone changing to an accusing and hurt one. He didn't have time to reassure him. And how could he, when he himself didn't know if things were alright? Finally Gilbert looked up at him. "You already damn well know why I left! Don't try to make it look like I abandoned you just like that!" he snapped at him. "I've been avoiding the Reich on purpose, since I can no longer support it. I represent the unwanted part of Germany after all." Was he trying to guilt trip him for killing jews? Hashtag let's make it 200 million. Weak bitch ass shit smh. "Aren't you supposed to be the extreme one? What's wrong with keeping the race nice and strong?" He taunted. "I promise you, in the future the youth will look back and wish they were born in Nazi Germany. Massive amounts of faggotry will plague the Earth." Prussia knew that he was right. Despite this he didn't seem convinced. "Come with me and America. I don't really care about the story with you and these Russians, I missed you possibly-maybe-probably not. The uniforms are hella cool too." "I can't, I already told you." "And why not? Do you think anyone knows that you are a Jewish fag? You can keep that a secret." Suddenly America made the both of them jump by slamming his fists down on the crater/makeshift table. He looked at Gilbert with annoyance. "I've had enough of this, dude. There's something else you're not telling us." He held up a book, a red book. Germany didn't need to know Russian to recognize it. "I don't know what this says, but it has the COMMIE SYMBOL! That's a bad thing, right Germany?" He turned to face his brother again. He was looking down at the ground, turning as red as the Communist Manifesto. "Stalin's just so...kawaii..." he whispered.

I pray to the flag of the people

United against oppression we stand

We don't need the Nazi eagle

Only Stalin and a comrade at hand 

"Seriously? This shit is mad gay" America complained, holding the paper accusingly in Prussia's face. "HEY, DON'T READ THAT! I HAVEN'T FINISHED IT YET I PROMISE IT WILL BE AWESOME!" he yelled as he tried to grab it. Germany wanted to fucking die.


	7. Things Get Worse Basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do you guys read this fanfic now I have to continue writing this acid trip hell tornado of a fanfic

The gang had finally reached Berlin again! It had been difficult getting Prussia to abandon his comrades, but America had mentioned seeing Stalin earlier that day and now he was tagging along. Germany suspected that his brother was a huge fag for Stalin (correct). They had been travelling under an akward silence, except for whenever America mumbled something about commies. He had once again climbed up on Ludwig's back to be like, im sleep. Gilbert had commented on it being pretty gay and he had replied with "No u." Now they walked up the streets with the sun slowly rising at the horizon. Germany realized that he was pretty tired too. Being at war sometimes required him to go without sleep for weeks, which was fine for a nation, but he still needed to rest every now and then. "So, you're commie now. At least that can distract Russia from murdering Alfred." he said to the actual manifestation of anxiety behind him. "I guess that's true, hahahaha. I am going to die in here West, hahahaha." He was visibly shaking now, his jewishness shining through like the sun. God, why are you like this. Ludwig finally gave up on his grudge and turned around. He put a hand on Gilbert's shoulder to let him know that he was being serious. "You know that you look extremely suspicious right now, right? Try not to attract attention towards yourself like this." Prussia took a deep breath and brushed his hand off. "Of course! The Teutonic Knights never felt fear! Neither will I!" He gave a thumbs up to somehow make his fake confidence look legit. "Don't you worry, Lud! I am the oldest of us and i've been through worse!" There was still some doubt visible in his eyes. Oof.

Stalin hadn't gotten much sleep at all. He had been thinking and analyzing everythinh that had happened so far. Why did Hitler suddenly want to be friends? Was that a trap, like with the Non-Aggression Pact? He had broken it and invaded Russia, after all. Why should he trust him now? Yet, something about this felt different. He didn't really give much thought to Mussolini. It seemed quite obvious that he didn't like him at all, and that could just be because of their ideologies. "Xaxaxa, being gay are we?" Commented Russia. He had been up all night working on god knows what. "Shut up, faggot. This fanfic is tagged with RusAme." "It's also tagged with Stitler." Damn, checkmate. Why was the author such a crime against humanity? "Listen, I don't quite know how to get a grip of all this. Maybe the stitler tag is ironic, because this doesn't make any sense so far." He sighed. God he wished he could go kill some kulaks right now. The nation huffed at him. "I doubt it is. The author is just bad at writing relationships." He held up the project he had been working with. It was a origami doll in the shape of America, colored in with commie colors >:((((. "What do you think? I'm gonna use it as a truce offering." God, what a fucking fag. It really was a disgrace that he had to represent motherland. "I honestly don't care anymore, just go do your thing or whatever." 

Later that day, Prussia and Germany were about to go meet the Führer. He was shaking again, but not as much now. America was still on him, glaring at everyone that gave them weird looks. It really just made this whole thing worse. Of course people were gonna react to him carrying Alfred around like this. It was pretty gay, of course. "Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey Big Guy, are we there yet?" he loudly exclaimed while poking him in the head. "Watch it, you jew! I won't hesitate to annex you too." Ludwig threatened. This seemed to have the opposite effect, as America started to laugh. "Oh, you are gonna annex me, huh? Sounds pretty gay if I do say so myself. What exactly does this "invading" go out on? Owo." "Forget I said anything! Just stop being a nuisance!" He was flustered now, damn the American. Prussia had distanced himself from them a bit, muttering about them being gay. "I don't exactly mind if the Third Reich has a kink for the United States! That just means i'm cool and attractive." He continued to tease. Germany decided to ignore him. Finally, they had reached Hitler's office. "Are you gonna be alright, Gil?" He turned around to see if his brother looked aryan enough. "Yeah, yeah! Don't worry about the awesome Preußen!" ( ß is pronounced like s for you English speakers smh). 

Wait, why was Stalin here? Ludwig wasn't exactly prepared to face both of the dictators at the same time, but oh well. He spotted Russia holding up a paper America painted red and yellow, and heard the aforementioned country hiss at him. Some type of truce offering, then. "Mein Führer, this is my brother, Prussia. We found him when we were going back to Berlin." he said to Hitler, who looked a bit suspicious by him. "He looks kinda Jewish, are you sure he's aryan?" Oof oof oof, things were going bad right away. "Yeah, of course. He is just as aryan as anyone else in this room." Gilbert laughed nervously. "Of course! I am the original Germany after all, hahaha!" "Alright, I guess I can trust you on this. Anyway, have you guys met Joseph Stalin yet? I believe that we are friends now!" he said, excited like a child. Fucking god, why is this fanfic like this.


	8. Things Escalate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact Stalin invented the "trust nobody not even yourself" meme look his quotes up it's amazing

"Um, hello I guess?" Germany greeted the Russian leader nervously. What zhe fuck was even going on? He cursed the author of this godforsaken fanfic. "So anyway! What brings you here today?" Hitler had finally stopped admiring Stalin and adressed them again. Germany cleared his throat. "Well, I had brought America here yesterday, but I wasn't given an order on what to do with him. We were going to Auschwitz at first, but I...well, changed my mind." He tried to avoid eye contact with the Führer since he felt ashamed of potentially insulting him by not getting rid of America. "Did you forget to give orders, Adi? That's pretty irresponsible!" Stalin said. He huffed in Disgust™ since he was very keen on order. Hitler blushed like an anime girl. "Well, I might've forgotten about that, indeed. But! I was busy trying to get revenge for you stopping zhe jew killing!" Oh hecc, the situation was escalating. The two dictators were now having an argument about who was responsible. "Hey, albino fag! What do we do now? Hellllooooooo???" America had started to try and get Gilbert's attention, but he was busy staring in amazement at Stalin. Not even the obnoxious yelling seemed to gain his attention. "He-he's so...perfect...." he muttered under his breath. Tears were starting to form in his eyes. "- And for the last time, traps are NOT gay!" Hitler ended the argument with a blatant lie, annoying everyone in the room. "What? If it looks like a girl it's ok, reich?" Everyone disagreed, making him upset. "Anyway, I don't really care who's fault it is, I just really need an order on what to do with Alfred." Ludwig said to ease the tension. Before Hitler had the chance to think up something, however, Prussia had launched himself at Stalin. He just managed to get out of the way, making Gilbert hit the wall. "STALIN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE TEACH ME ABOUT THE WAYS OF COMMUNISM!" he sobbed. Oy vey, the cover was blown. "Your brother's a communist!?" Adolf shouted.

After a failed attempt at dismissing Gilbert's sobbing as a joke, Germany and America were sitting outside his brand new communist prison cell. Once again he had gone without getting an order. "You're a fucking idiot." he told the still sobbing faggot. "I-I had to do it to em!" he whined. "He's just too perfect! I'd die for Stalin without any doubt!" America sighed. "So, what now? Do I like, totally go home or something? He didn't say anything, goddamn it!" He was visibly upset over not getting a death sentence handed to him and started pacing around. "I've tried being a nuisance and that's basically what I can do! Why won't I die? I thought for SURE that this spy mission was the perfect opportunity." Mein fucking gott, what an edgelord. "Why do you even want to die, anyway? You have barely been affected by these two wars. If anyone should be suicidal, it's me. Like the first war didn't cause enough damage, the economy was also turned to a crisis condition by the Versailles treaty. Now we are doing it all over again." He found himself questioning his beliefs, oddly enough. Was it really worth all the trouble, just to kill the jews? On top of that he had been interrupted in his important work by America and Gilbert. The aforementioned two were still getting into trouble despite having his guidance. He stood up, having an idea. "I'm going to the library. Don't expect me to be back soon, our situation is pretty rare." America gave Prussia a "what does that mean?" look, to which he replied with a "fuck if I know mate" look. 

Russia was in a pretty good mood. Everyone seemed to be disoriented today, and chaos always offered up new opportunities in his favor. He was now following Stalin and Hitler as they argued about the fate of Germany's brother. Their ideologies clashed quite a lot on the subject of human rights. "This is pretty over the top! You have accepted the fact that i'm a communist, what makes this different?" "This one's too close to mein best Gestapo officials. I cannot have him become a communist through his brother!" And so the conversation went back and forth. It seemed like they wouldn't come to an agreement anytime soon. He eventually tuned them out to think for himself. Ivan was pretty tired of this place by now. He wanted to go home again, back away from the war. These were their enemies, surely Joseph hadn't forgotten that? They were in the middle of a war, but it did not feel like one anymore. He found himself being quite irritated. He had felt every fallen soldier's pain, and they had lost more than a million. Russia was not willing to forgive Hitler, even less become allies. His good mood was gone completely now. Time to act. "I agree with the great leader, we should always act in favor of our fellow comrades. It would be a shame to forget what we fight this war for." Stalin had noticed his cold tone. Good. Hitler had not realized that he was talking to Stalin alone, and continued the argument. "I do understand what you mean, but it is not a risk i'm willing to take. I must, just as you, stand by my beliefs." he said. "I say we head back again. There is no reason for us to be here." He told Stalin in Russian. "And abandon the comrade that seemed so important to you?" Damn it. Of course a former poet would be able to defeat him in a conversation. "We are staying, unless I say otherwise. Don't let your grudge get the better of you." He smiled, and nodded. "Of course, comrade Stalin." The rest of the way he had his fists curled tightly in suppressed anger. Things were not gonna go the way Stalin wanted.


	9. My Dad Beats Me In Mario Kart But Also With A Belt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love oranges im gonna vore oramges until I die of a vitamin overdose

"Come on, is it really worth arguing about?" Germany was already tired enough from trying to find out how to help his fag brother. Now it seemed like Hitler and Stalin weren't getting along well either. Why was Prussia such a big deal all of a sudden? America had taken up his DIY Hitler mustasche again, comparing it to the dictator, who was trying his best to ignore him. "Unfortunately we won't be able to compromise. Stalin is a meanie and I will not talk to him >:(." he answered. "Stalin isn't that keen on freeing him either, really. Sorry not sorry but he's like a Tumblr fangirl. Things like that cannot be looked past easily." America mumbled something along the lines of nazi wiener schnitzel guten tag to himself, since he couldn't understand anything that was being said. Ludwig decided to try to think up some solution on his own. "I understand, mein Führer. I just have one question." He pointed to the actual physical manifestation of chaos. "WHAT, ME? SPEAK ENGLISH YOU NAZI!!" "You know that I literally am a nazi right? That's like calling me a human as an insult." America huffed. "You know what I meant! Anyway yes, attention towards me! What goes?" Hitler thought to himself for a moment. He had quite a responsibility now. You couldn't just get rid of nations like with the jews, which was the only way he used to get rid of his problems. "Idk lol" he finally answered, grim and serious in his tone. (God save Germany at this point i'm just being Satan also im listening to Taylor Swift rn and it's 100% Stitler)

"You know what I hate about this place? Nobody talks to me in English! I do not speak German!" he whined after they had exited the office. Ludwig was in the middle of an existencial crisis since he had to deal with Alfred on his own, while at the same time try to get Prussia out of Gay Fag Jail. Was the American half radio? He was starting to suspect that he was, except there was no button to turn the noise off. He even talked in his sleep! He was a Stressed Boi™. Goddamnit! He had better things to do, they were in the middle of a war that was going badly enough as it was! He was also triggered by the fact that he couldn't easily fix things. "Will you shut up for a second, i'm thinking." he interrupted. Unfortunately America didn't let himself be silenced that easily. "Will I shut up? No, I don't think I will! As an American with the right to freedom of speech I will use that to complain!" Germany didn't answer, but started dragging Alfred along to his office. "Hey! Why are you so mad?! I'm the one that's supposed to be mad! Potato bastard!" As soon as they had gotten inside he slammed the door shut behind them and pushed America up against the wall. "Ok listen here, you pestering smug idiot. If you open your mouth to say anything idiotic like that again, i'll give you a real reason to complain." He had slowly gotten fed up with this constant nuisance, and the current situation wasn't exactly helping. To his surprise, Alfred didn't start arguing. He was looking at him really weirdly before speaking. "Choke me harder, daddy." Instantly, like he had been burned, he let go of him. "What is your deal!? I mean I get that you can have different kinks, but what zhe fuck? I'm kinkshaming." He seemingly came back to his senses. "AHAHAHA, I MEAN I TOTALLY DO NOT HAVE A CHOKING KINK! THAT WAS JUST A JOKE HAHA!!!! AMIRIGHT????!!?!!?" he continued to stutter out different explanations, but it was already too late. Alfred forced himself to stop talking after sensing the akward tension. "Okay, MAAAAYYBE I wouldn't mind if you, ya know....choked me and stuff like that, BUT YOU CAN'T KINKSHAME ME! I KNOW WHAT KINDA STUFF YOU WATCH!" "AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A CHOKING KINK!" Germany replied as he was forced to defend himself. "BONDAGE IS A PRETTY COMMON KINK!". As he said this, he finally noticed Stalin who had seemingly overheard the conversation through the open door. "Yall are fucking gay I am leaving." he said in pure Disgust™.


	10. I Should Be Doing School Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Check out Tyumnaja Nocht/ Tëmnaja noč its lit

Matryoshka dolls, all of them. If you looked at it from a nation's perspective, that was what humans were. Made out of different layers, but all looking the same in the end. Russia had grown bored lately, despite everything happening. Maybe that was why he was conspiring against the people he was supposed to obey. After all, what did it matter to him? He would live until the end of the world, what harm could 50 years of distrust and manipulation do? 50 years passed by fast for him. He wondered how far the other nations would go to preserve the dignity and morals of the country. He knew that America was much smarter than he seemed on the outside, everything he did had some intention behind it. Whatever could he be after in Germany? There was no oil to steal or communism to destroy here. He didn't seem like the type to ally himself with the Third Reich either. He was even fighting Japan, a part of the Axis Powers. Wait, why was he even thinking of this? He had things to do, no time to worry about America. It wasn't anything important to him anyway. He stood up from his desk, and went out to attend the meeting he had been called to. Maybe he could find out more about Alfred's intentions there? 

"So, you are considering freeing Prussia then? Thank you, mein Führer. It means more than I can express. Sorry for the trouble he caused." Germany finally felt like he could relax again. The aforementioned faggot was currently subtly trying to get Stalin's attention. He was ignoring him, clearly uncomfortable with his levels of faggotry. "Yes, he is free to go. Stalin and I agreed to it, on the request of Russia." That surprised him. Why was he helping Gilbert? Ivan just smiled at him when he gave him a questioning look. There was something hidden in that smile that gave him chills, some sinister energy. He didn't need to ask to know that this wasn't for him. They were not on good terms, at all. "We all have to look after our comrades, don't we?" 

After the meeting Russia approached him and America as they were leaving the room. "Excuse me, could I just talk to America in private? If you don't mind." Suddenly there was tension in the air. Alfred seemed unusually serious all of a sudden. "I'll wait right outside, don't worry." Germany said to try and ease the mood. Reluctantly he agreed to go. What was going on with those two? They seemed to have some sort of history, that clearly didn't end well. He sighed, hoping that he would actually be alright. He realized that he was more worried than he usually was about other people. Damn it, Lud. Put your gay self together. All too often he found himself thinking of the other day. How America had looked pressed up against the wall, how close they had been. Stop it, damn it! He was being gay again! It was not fitting of an aryan man to have such thoughts about other men. He might just end up in a concentration camp himself. What a situation he had found himself in.

"So what is it? I'm not gonna play along with your little mind games this time, just get straight to the point." Alfred said to him with a very uncharacteristic sharpness in his tone. Despite his eyes being blue, they were darker than usual with hate. Russia decided to let him have his way just for a little bit. Being direct with him might be better this time. He leaned against the wall. "Well, then. I will avoid wasting your time. What do you plan with Germany? That innocent behavior of yours disgusts me. So deceptive, I almost believe it myself." He looked away. Good. He had been right. "It won't affect you. Can I go now?" Before Alfred had the chance to get up, however, he had grabbed his arm. Maybe a bit harder than needed. He turned around to finally look him in the eyes. "You're very tense. Wouldn't have to be if you weren't trying to hide something. Tell me." "Personal matters. Nothing political." He freed himself from his grip and started walking towards the door again. "It's better if you don't know." The doors slammed unnaturally loudly behind him. Ivan was left in the almost eerie silence that followed. Did America have tears in his eyes when he left? 

"Come on, let's go. We're done here." America didn't even wait for him, but started to march down the hall. He had slammed the doors behind him, so something has clearly happened. Ludwig quickly started walking to catch up to him. "Hey, calm down a bit. What happened?" No response. He didn't even look back at him to aknowledge being spoken to. What was up with him? "America? Answer me!" By now some people had glanced at them as they walked by. He could almost touch the tension in the air. It felt like the moment before lightning struck. He was growing more worried and angry by the lack of attention he was getting from him. Finally Alfred stopped, making him almost crash into him. Uneasyness filled him as he realized he was crying. How did he not notice the tears dripping down on the ground? The way his shoulders were shaking? He had no idea what to do in this situation, and people were now stopping to look at the events unfolding. "Alfred, we can solve this. Whatever happened in there. Let's go somewhere else if you want to do this." He whirled around, furious. The tears were still running down his face but now the sadness had turned into anger. Germany, for the first time in maybe several hundreds of years, felt intimidated. There was so much raw emotion in this person that he had a hard time recognizing him. America tried to say something, but opted out once his temporary confidence left him. With that, he stormed away again. He was such an idiot. Such an idiot, this whole time. It had taken Ludwig up until now to realize. He knew exactly what words Alfred was trying to say.

I love you.


	11. Very soft boyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ur wondering im crying while writing this fanfic yes

What the heck >:((( was going on with those nations? Stalin and Hitler had just witnessed some drama taking place. Now Germany was left standing in silence, seemingly pretty spooked. "Fuck zhis let's go." Adolf told him, and he didn't hesitate to follow him this time. "What is up with those...what are they supposed to be even? I don't like this faggotry." he ranted bitterly. "They are immortal, yet act like they are ten years old. Worst of all, that is supposedly representing the entire country!" Hitler sighed, he was very tired of all the jew stuff going on. "I don't know, up until this point mine seemed to be doing fine. Should I send him out to focus on work, maybe? I can't let him stand in mein way." "Yes, that sounds like a better idea than having all of them in one place." While they were talking, Russia had joined up with them out of nowhere. "We can actually achieve wonders, you know? It just requires a good leadership, haha." Wow way to be indirect Russia, I sure do wonder if this is shade on America and Germany. *thimk emoji jsg* Both of the dictators called him gay for sneaking up like that.

He wasn't quite sure how much time had passed. It was bright outside once he woke up again, though. Alfred realized that he must have caused quite a scene. Damn you, Ivan. Why was he still going after him like this? Their thing had ended long ago, it had nothing to do with the current times. Maybe all the years passed had gotten to him and he forgot? He got annoyed at himself. Of course not, Ivan remembered anything of importance! Idiot. He hid his face from the sun again. What was he even trying to do? Germany probably hated him, he had just caused him problems this entire time! Who would ever love such a miserable moron like himself? Russia had been a different thing, he had been after the power of a newly founded nation and nothing after that. What was he now? The laughing stock of the entire world, constantly messing up, being the one 'you wouldn't want to turn into'. And there we go. Now he was feeling bad for himself again. He had a hard time admitting it to himself, but Ludwig was everything he wanted to be (except from the jew killing lol), the one doing everything perfectly, having everything under control, respected by everyone who met him. With that, he finally got up. He needed to talk to him, even if it would be uncomfortable to do so.

"I got it, mein Führer." That was what he said, as usual, but he didn't quite understand. Why was he being sent away to Auschwitz to work again all of a sudden? Surely there was some reason behind it. But alas, you do not question orders. He was sure that if the Führer said so, it was important. He had now passed the border to Poland, or what used to be Poland. He felt quite proud of how quickly they had taken over, but he was not one to brag. Unless it was absolutely perfect he wasn't about to show off! There was a lot of work left to do, a lot of jews to get rid of. They would have to rebuild once the war was won. He kicked a charred piece of concrete. How pathetic, he had never realized how weak the rest of the world was. (Especially France and Poland what the fuck you guys defended urself with horses against tanks and a defense wall that they literally walked around biggest L) 

"Germany! Germannnyy! Wait up!" someone suddenly shouted behind him. No, not just anyone. Definitely not just anyone. He was almost afraid to turn around and face him. But there he was, running and almost falling over his feet to catch up, determination never leaving his eyes. For some reason Ludwig couldn't make himself step away from the tackle he then received. "Big oof!" They both went tumbling down the hill, finally stopping with America on top of him with grass stains and flowers in his face. As soon as he caught his breath he began to laugh. Ludwig had never heard a more beautiful sound in his entire life. "I- I heard you were leaving, hah, without me! The, the hero never misses an adventure!". He was brushing away tears of...joy? Germany finally snapped out of the trance. "H-hey! Get off me, you fool! What are you doing here!?" He practically threw America off to confront him in a less suggestive manner. "What was that tackle about? Weren't...I mean, you are mad at me, right?...Sorry about that, by the way." An akward silence formed until America finally caught his breath completely to answer seriously. "Not at all, really. I should be the one apologizing about that, by the way. I probably caused a scene, right?" He scratched the back of his head, grinning akwardly. "Me and Russia have some things to sort out, is all. I got a bit too emotional." Ludwig sighed, not sure to what exactly. He really thought he was convincing? "Apology accepted. I won't ask about you and Russia, it doesn't matter what it was about. I'm just glad you're not here to kill me." The two of them laughed together for a bit. It would probably look ridiculous to a bypasser, an SS officer and an American general, covered in flowers and dirt, laughing together. Right now he didn't care, though. Germany hadn't laughed geniunely in years up until now.


	12. You Know Rosie Had To Make Me Do It To Em

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i bought a strawberry lime soda and it tastes terrible but im thorsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha yes merry magic man birth im getting a drawing computer prepare for bad art for yall following ya boi 
> 
> also a warnign this chapter is kinda NSFW they do the do

(Authors note I kinda forgot abt stitler i am sorry uwu this was supposed to be a funne exdee fanfic but I started taking the writing more seriously so again oof for yall that are here for the dictator bois we will see if I return to them)

"We actually might reach Auschwitz this time, Lud! I'm hyped man!" Wow geez the edge in this boi. Alfred still seemingly wanted to die quite a lot. "Yeah, perhaps we will you jew." Ludwig replied, in a very not threatening at all tone. Considering everything happening lately, he felt quite happy. Things might not be going perfectly with the war but at least he had someone with him. America had an aura of good vibes around him at all times it almost seemed. Wherever he went, the sun was always right after him. Even now, while they were walking through the war damaged countrysides, he seemed to be in a great mood! Germany wished he knew how to be like that. He always felt like he needed to be serious, to the point and as perfect as possible. In that way of thinking, he had forgotten how to live in some ways. He glanced back at Alfred, who was rambling about something incomprehensible. He didn't really want to admit it, but he admired him quite a lot. "Germany! Are you listening!? Helllloooooo?!?" "Ah, sorry. I was thinking about stuff, you were saying?" he admitted, feeling a bit ashamed. It didn't seem to bother America, though. He was just happy with the attention. "Yes, I was thinking that, what if, your mustache guy was secretly Jewish! I mean, Hitler is a pretty common jewish last name! Well, maybe not right now though oof." Ludwig just huffed at his crazy conspiracy theory. "I would believe that he was secretly Prussia in disguise sooner than I would believe that. Where do you even get these ideas from?" "I do quite a lot of drugs, they just appear in my LSD hallucinations and I go along with it. I do not want to anger God. I gotta spread the word." When he noticed how concerned Germany looked, he laughed and continued with "Just kidding! I get secret service reports of everything and anything 24/7. My agents here seem to believe that story, at least." "That isn't exactly calming either, you know? Besides they could have just gotten some Hitler propaganda and mistranslated it completely, who knows." 

At last they reached their destination. It was much more eery now, when jew killing wasn't allowed at night. He wasn't quite sure why Hitler had agreed to these extreme terms, they were getting a final solution going on here after all! Oh well, maybe the jew problem could wait until the war was won. He turned to America again. "Remember, you can't stand out too much while being here so, well... just don't be yourself. Got it?" Alfred gave him an American salute with way too much confidence. "Like this, right? Hail Hitler!" "No, no, not like that! You hold your arm up like this, see? No, the right one! Yes, better. It's heil, by the way." God, this would be difficult. He had a feeling that Alfred would instantly forget the info he had just gotten. As they walked up to the gates, they were stopped by some guards. "Halt, who goes there! State your business." Alfred muttered something about English being the best laungage and how everyone should speak it. "We have been sent here to oversee operations on order of The Führer." Ludwig stated. The guard still looked a bit suspicious, however. "Understood, but what about him? He doesn't wear our uniform, sir." Alfred (unfortunately) realized that he was the one being talked about, and proceeded to heil. Except he made a thumbs up instead. "Seig hail, nice to meetcha!" A couple of akward seconds passed. "Please ignore him, he is...a friend of mine. I will take responsibility if he causes any trouble." The poor man hesitantly went to open the gates. "It is The Führer's orders, after all." he muttered to himself as they went in.

"Did I do good? He let us in! That means I did good, right!" Germany wished he wouldn't ask that. "It...could use some work. Yeah, you did good enough, I guess." "Amazing! So what are we doing now? Are there any cool stuff in here?" He ignored that question on purpose to spare himself.

Eventually they reached some people Germany needed to talk to. However, as they finished the conversation, America showed up again. He had gone on his own (was sent away to avoid confrontations) to check out the different buildings. As soon as they saw him, the conversation stopped. "Isn't that an American? What is he doing in here!?" Uh oh, this was not gonna end up pretty. One of the officers started reaching for his gun. "Stop right there-" He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence before Germany had his own gun up against the back of his head. He looked at the man who had just threatened Alfred with pure disgust. "I would ask you the same. You reach for your gun quickly, maybe the Eastern front would fit you better?" He reached his hand out, and slowly he lowered his gun and gave it to him, or rather, threw it in his hand. "Good choice." He leaned in a little closer. "If anyone hurts the American, I will be the first to know. After me comes The Führer. Keep yourself in line." He lowered his gun, and the man stormed off, but not before saying "Oh, he will hear about this. Let's hope you have a damn good reason to bring THAT here." "Sorry about that America, they don't...America?" He had turned to apologize to him, but Alfred just stood looking at him in awe. He looked like he had just seen something magical. Suddenly he snapped out of his trance. "Ah, yes, yes, no problem. At all. Nice." He managed to stutter on even those simple words.

When they were alone again he finally spoke again. "Uh, Ludwig, I kinda wanted to say something..." Alfred was blushing profusely, making him nervous. Had he done something wrong, and Alfred didn't know how to say it straight to his face? Maybe he had been way too harsh on the officer, and he felt scared? The answer he got was not anything he would expect from America. "That thing you did, with the gun and all, uh, it was pretty hot. I know that's weird, sorry. Actually, please ignore that, I-" Germany interrupted his rambling, very confused. "Wait, you actually...you do?" He weakly nodded as a response, avoiding eye contact completely. "Actually, not just that...I mean..." He didn't finish his sentence, as he got tears in his eyes. "Ludwig, I love you. Everything about you. I know that this confession is pointless, there's nothing about me that anyone would like, but I can't just be silent anymore!" Now he was actually crying. Germany couldn't exactly say that this was unexpected, but he was still stunned by him finally saying those words. What should he do? What did he himself feel? Everything was just a complete mess inside of him right now. It hurt more than any wound he had ever recieved, this weird feeling. Seeing him broken down like that, he never wanted to see that again. He embraced Alfred, surprising him. "I know. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have had to tell me like this. I- I don't know what to say. I haven't really...figured out how I feel. Scratch that, actually. Of course I love you! I just, don't know if this is right. We could be killed just for saying this to eachother!" Alfred made an attempt at wiping away his tears and leaned up against him. "I don't care, they can't kill us anyway, idiot! We're immortal!" He laughed, one of those amazing magical laughs that lightened up entire rooms. The fact that he was still crying didn't change that fact. Germany pushed him up against the wall, finally letting his boundaries go. "Well, then there shouldn't be a problem with me doing this?" And finally, they kissed. It was rough, filled with emotion. America pulled him closer by his uniform, moaning under his breath. "Ludwig-!" He shut him up again by pulling in. He could barely think now, his entire being was just focused on the pleasure. They were getting eachother undressed now, panting and moaning. America was so warm against him, so irresistible. He felt him up as he took his pants off. Already hard, huh. He couldn't help but hum in satisfaction. Alfred was practically tearing his clothes off now, not having the patience for foreplay. "Hah, can't wait, huh?" He teased him, and grabbed his dick a bit harder. The sound he made was amazing. Ludwig half laid, half threw him on a nearby table. He wasn't about to go easy on America, just because he was a virgin. His sadistic side was starting to come out now. He entered him without warning, and he yelled out in surprise. Surprisingly this seemed to turn him on even more, as his breath started turning into purely moans now. "H-harder p-please! Please!" He choked out. Well, he wouldn't have to ask twice. Ah, he felt so good, he hadn't been in such a bliss before! He leaned down to bite at his neck, god he loved the pathetic whimpers he made. Alfred was tracing his hands over him. He was being pretty rough, too, turning him on even more. "Ah~ L-Ludwig, i'm- I won't last m-much longer!" he moaned. Germany was pretty close too, so he increased the pace. And finally, he came, Alfred soon after. Both of them were completely out of breath now. America opened his eye halfway, giving him a weak smile. Germany leaned in to kiss him again. 

The guard saw all of this he's traumatized save him goodbye I can't fucking do this anymore


	13. I Try My Best To Write Like A Normal Human Being

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us pretend chapter 12 didn't happen my fellas it is a new year of forgiveness and divine justice

Germany and America were now on their way back to Berlin to report. Things were a little akward when they left, but it wasn't that weird really. The guard at the gates had been very strange when they left, wonder what that was about? Eh, whatever. Germany didn't care about what he thought. He only cared about America right now. He was on his back again, rambling on about whatever he saw from his higher point of view. (His favorite thing was to point out how tall Ludwig was, despite not being very shorter himself.) 

"You know, the world seems so small sometimes." He said, huffing sadly. "I want to explore, but is there even anything left to explore? It's so borrrrinnggg, politics and everything! I don't wanna discuss wars and trading, I want to fly! See the entire world!" Ludwig smiled at his childish ranting. He was right in some ways. What wouldn't he give to be free of his duties and just go wherever he wanted? But then again, he wasn't the land of the free. It was just something that was part of America, wanting to be anywhere and doing anything that could come to mind. "You're not going to get there by sulking." he told him, and got a kick in the side as a response. "You don't need to bully me! It's not my fault that i'm forced to have constant responsi-" he interrupted himself in the middle of the sentence, poking him on the head a few thousand times. "Ludwig, look up! At the sky!" At first he was slightly annoyed at Alfred slowing them down, but then he actually did look up. The sun was slowly setting, making the sky explode in red, blue, purple and yellow. And up in the sky the stars started to appear one by one. It wasn't very often that sunsets made such vibrant colors. America was staring up at the stars in awe. For once, he was actually silent, just taking in the view and the moment. With sudden determination, he reached his arm up towards the brighest one. There was no way that he would ever reach it, but he still did it. Germany didn't dare interrupt by saying that. America had a look in his eyes that was so uncharacteristic of him. Way too serious, too focused. Yet, it still held the childish excitement and curiosity that he always had. He wondered if it was possibly to fall even more in love with someone. "One day i'm gonna reach that star. That will be my adventure. It doesn't matter how many centuries it takes, I will get there!" Alfred said to the silent nightsky. And the universe was changed from that moment. 

As they made camp, he glanced back at him. "Were you serious when you said that, about reaching the star? We might not even exist when humanity gets there." It felt a bit rude, but America just laughed. "Of course! I promised to do it! Say, when has anything or anyone stopped me?" He made some sort of superhero pose. "The United States of America, broke free from the British Empire itself! And if that wasn't enough to prove just how amazing I am, now I am one of the most influential nations of the world!" Ludwig couldn't help but laugh. "I know, but the stars are far away, idiot! I didn't say I doubted your powers, but some things are even beyond us!" Alfred faked being offended (very terribly he lov and protecc his boye lud) and sat down again. "Maybe the stars aren't that far away, and if they are, so what? I will get there, you'll see!" The hero never gives up, and i'm supposed to be one!" He grabbed Germany by the shoulders and shook him lightly. "Hey, you'll help me reach the stars, right?" "What, me? That's such a ridiculous idea! No way!" "Come onnnnn, don't be boring!" He clung onto him even more. "I bet you want to see space too!" "Alright, alright! I guess I can go along on your centuries long adventure!" Germany finally said. He couldn't believe he was going along with this, but there was just something about it that was impossible to say no to, no matter how crazy the idea was. Going up beyond the everyday world to a place nobody had been to, who wouldn't want to do that? America was already rambling up different ideas for getting to space, and eventually the final destination, Sirius he named the star. If only everything was as simple as the way Alfred thought. That would be a world with everything ever imagined and so much more. He decided that he would do whatever it required to reach that star. No matter how long it took, he would reach the universe out there. It would be worth the time, the effort, the resources, everything! Just to see that look in his eyes again. Spaceships, huh. Maybe that could be built?


	14. Author's Note

This fanfic is gonna be put on hold for a while, or at least be slowed down, but i'm not done with it yet so don't give up hope! I'm gonna be working on a Hitman Jones type fanfic for a while uwu feel free to check it out while you're waiting if there actually are people waiting for updates on this mess god.


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